Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Vegas Vacation - An Embee Williams Adventure

I awoke groggily, uncertian of the day or time. Hazy sunshine drifted through the dingy vertical blinds hanging on the window. Somewhere a siren sounded. I groaned and tried to rise. I looked down at my hand. It was pink and fuzzy and held a half filled bottle of Jack Daniels. What? In fact I was wearing a pink bunny suit!! Ears and all!! What did I do last night?

I remember arriving in Vegas and checking into my hotel. I walked the strip. Did some gambling. Took in some clubs. Bunny suit? Why would I be wearing a bunny suit?

I got out of bed and tripped over something on the floor. Cursing, I twisted to see what I fell over. It was a girl. A girl dressed in a skimpy silver bangled outfit and high heels. Oh my God, it was a hooker! There's a hooker asleep on my floor and I'm in a fucking bunny suit.

"Okay, remain calm." I grabbed the hooker's shoulder and gave a shake. She didn't stir. She must've been doing some really good stuff, I thought. "C'mon ... uhh," shit,. what was her name. "'Uhhh.. mam. Please wake up. You have got to go. I'll pay you for your time." But what I got for my money I don't remember.

The prostitute still didn't move. It was then I saw a small trickle of blood coming from her nose and mouth. "Oh shit! The bitch is dead. Oh Shit!" I started pacing. I heard the police siren again, closer this time. Were they coming for me? Fuck!!

"I've got to get out of here." I glanced around to take inventory of the room. My watch, wallet, car keys and cell phone were on the dresser, the dead hooker was on the floor. There were two glasses filled with melted ice and amber liquid on the nightstand next to the bed. A roach smoldered in the ashtry. I walked over, picked it up and sniffed. I don't smoke pot, I thought. Shrugging, I took a hit off the still lit joint and continued to take stock of the situation.

"Okay, Embee think. You have got to get out of here before the cops get here or the cleaning crew comes for the room. I need time to think." I snapped my fingers. The Do Not Disturb sign! I searched frantically for it. It was nowhere to be found. Finally, I opened the door and saw it hanging from knob. A maid turned from the down the hall. "Can I get you anything sir?"
"No thank you. I'm fine.
"Okay, I'll come to clean the room soon."
"No hurry," I blurted out. "I mean I'm relaxing and enjoying my vacation. Would you happen to know the time."
"9:30."
"Thanks." I slipped back into the room.

How was I going to get out of a hotel with a dead hooker without being seen? How did the hooker end up dead on my floor anyway!! One thing at at a time. How to get out? I sat on the bed and thought. I took a swig from the warm whiskey and thought. I took another hit from the joint and thought. I had it!

I grabbed my luggage, leaving one bag in the room. I opened the door and glanced up and down the hallway. No one. Good. I turned back into the room and looked at the hooker on the floor, "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

I waited through an interminably long elevator ride to reach the lobby and walked to the front desk. "Leaving us so soon, Mr. Williams?" The too chipper clerk asked.
"Yes, I've got to cut my vacation short. Emergency back home."
"Well, we hope to see you back at The Beaches Casino on your next visit."
"Thank you." I handed the clerk my credit card and paid for the room.
The clerk asked for the room key. I started to hand it to him and said, "Oh I forgot a bag. Let me go back to the room, grab it and I drop off the key on my way to the garage."
"I can call a bellhop for you, sir." The damn clerk smiled.
"No! Uhh, no thank you. I could go back upstairs." I turned and started for the elevator.

I propped the dead hooker up on my hip and threw her arm around my neck. "God, dead people weigh a ton.." I started back down the hall. The couple in room 1405 were leaving their room. "Morning!" they loudly greeted me. "Great morning, ain't it."
"Morning," I whispered. "it would be a nice day except for the hangover. My friend here," I nodded toward the dead hooker I was dragging down the hall, "is still sufferring."
"Yeah," the business man next door ageed. "She looks dead on her feet."
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Will Embee make it out of the hotel with the dead hooker? Who killed her? And why is he wearing a pink bunny suit? These questions and others will be answered in the next installment of Vegas Vacation - An Embee Williams Adventure!!

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